Thief's Hand Introduction and Practice for Dummies is a readable found on Amphoreus.
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Origin
Many may know that the Thief's Hand is the avatar of Zagreus, the Trickery Titan... or at least it was. But mortals like us will never fathom the machinations of the Titans — why it only appears as a hand, why the hand must always be left in its place with each return, and what its "middle finger" gesture signifies when leaving... Only Cerces has the answer to these questions.
But, compared to those Titans themselves, these stone mounds are much more stable — they don't roll around in foul mire, nor do they sow chaos for sheer pleasure. Also, sheesh, this thing used to fly in the sky, causing the earliest Georios craftsmen to laud its "potential" when they laid eyes on it. After an arduous process of soul reforging and intent transference, this Thief's Hand was crafted.
The only hair-pulling issue with it was that the stone control panel was so heavy. It could only be refined in the city, and had to be transported out upon completion. What else could be done? We had to spend thousands of Balance Coins to rent a dromas just to transport it. And when we got there, those lumbering lug nuts couldn't even fit through the ruins gate. We'd be kicked away by them if we tried to force them through the gate. As the one in charge, I had to unload the goods and personally pull and drag them inside. My poor back was creaking from all that work. For the love of all the gods, please don't let it summon Thanatos. Bah, I digress.
Operation
If you are reading this operational stone slab, it means you must be a hero among heroes. If it was some other ordinary person, even if he memorized the procedure like the back of his hand, getting this up and running may still have been a tough feat. But even if you're an exemplar, you'd still need to memorize the following instructions well, or between the Thief's Hand and yourself, one of you would surely end up damaged.
There are two parts to this operational stone platform. The first is the platform itself — there are several bumps on the surface that can be pressed down. Their respective functions are forward, backward, and... other very intricate functions. They'll be introduced in the upcoming chapters.
The other part is this ball. Usually embedded in the platform, it will hover when activated. When you are using it, place it in your hand and hold it like you would an egg, then rotate it, and the Thief's Hand will follow suit.
Sounds simple, yeah? But you can't just focus on the stone platform, you have to keep your eyes on the Thief's Hand. You'll know how hard it is once you use it, especially those who use photostones [sic] in the city. Letting them mess about with the controls is no different from scattering a swathe of dirt across the platform — a dromas dragging its tongue across the controls will do better than them.
There was someone who confidently thought they had the chops and wanted to give it a try. The result? As expected, it was like that person had some grudge against the West, knocking down six walls with the hand, and almost broke it. It was such a mess that even Zagreus would have second-hand embarrassment. And they didn't even want to admit it either, saying the controls were not meant for humans.
Nonsense. That hand was made by a Titan — if it wasn't for Georios' craftsmen, ordinary mortals wouldn't even be able to lay a finger on this divine relic.
I warn you again: Be extremely careful when controlling it. We only have this one hand, there's no one else who can make it.
Troubleshooting
Sometimes, it doesn't obey commands and starts acting insane. You're also sure you haven't been drinking ambrosia on the job, and Thanatos hasn't set their sights on you. Don't worry, this problem is inherent, even the craftsmen can't explain it.
There's nothing you can do to fix it either. It was made by Zagreus, after all.
There are a few solutions:
1. Wait for it to settle down.
2. Or, use any hard material as a tool and gouge an opening in the hand, then pour golden blood into it. After a few hours, the hand should be as dexterous as new.
Additional note: I mean the Thief's Hand, not your own hand.
Appendix
All right, that's the end of the beginner's chapter. You only have an inkling of its basic controls, though. For practical application, you'll need to thoroughly review the entire manual several times over.
You must be thinking that you understood nothing from all of the above — why not just read the second half of the manual?
That won't do. By Janus, that's the whole point of being a "beginner" — taking things one step at a time.
But I get your frustration — you want some consolation, don't you? Take a look at this then.
The Advanced Chapter's discount code: Hygilos is as cunning as Zagreus.
Other Languages[]
| Language | Official Name |
|---|---|
| English | Thief's Hand Introduction and Practice for Dummies |
| Chinese (Simplified) | 贼之手的介绍与实操•初级 |
| Chinese (Traditional) | 賊之手的介紹與實操•初級 |
| Japanese | 賊の手の紹介と実践・初級編 |
| Korean | 도둑의 손 소개 및 실전 조작•초급 |
| Spanish | Introducción y funcionamiento de la Mano del Ladrón para principiantes |
| French | Présentation de la Main du voleur et entraînement pour les nuls |
| Russian | Введение и практическое руководство по использованию Воровской длани для чайников |
| Thai | บทนำและการใช้งานมือจอมโจร - ระดับต้น |
| Vietnamese | Giới Thiệu Và Thao Tác Của Bàn Tay Kẻ Trộm-Sơ Cấp |
| German | Die Hand des Diebes – Einführung und Übungen für Dummies |
| Indonesian | Pengenalan dan Pengoperasian Tangan Pencuri - Dasar |
| Portuguese | Introdução e Prática da Mão Leve para Leigos |